On June 22, 2001 the doors to the church opened. The sun was setting behind me, and a halo of light filled the auditorium. It was the day I married my best friend.
After the fifteen years, too many moves to count, three children, and all the ups and downs in between, I've learned a few things.
Don't do the math, but I married at the ripe, old age of 19. I know! I was a baby! Kevin and I basically grew up together. The best part; we grew closer instead of growing apart. We have a lot more to learn, but here are a few things that make our marriage work so well.
Talking to one another is the number one reason we are still happily married. Without communication, I wouldn't get what I want. Our house would be in shambles if we didn't talk to one another. You have to talk about everything. Feelings, bills, raising the kids, the best part of your day, and the tire pressure all have to be discussed. Communicating is key!
Picking Our Battles
Sometimes the best way to communicate is to not speak at all. Kevin does this thing where he changes up the beginning of words to sound like something else. To me it's the equivalent of scrapping your nails against a chalk board. At first, I made a big deal about it. Now, I try to let it go. If changing up the English language every once is a while is the worst thing my husband does, then we are doing alright.
Learning From Regrets
If you are starting out your marriage and do not have children yet, then please read this post. We made some major oops early on in our marriage. If we could go back, we would. The good news is we can learn from those ignorant years and not have anymore regrets. You will make mistakes. Your marriage will be defined by how you overcome them.
Have I ever mentioned that washing dishes is my favorite thing in the entire world? No? That's because it's not. We decided early on in our marriage that we needed to assign roles. When we are sick or see the other needing help, we happily jump in. For the most part, we have our own household duties, and it keeps the peace.
Kevin is responsible for the trash, paying bills, cooking, yard work, and the cars. I handle pretty much everything else. The roles have changed through the years, and we adjust when life throws us in the thick of it. Take on certain responsibilities, and adjust when needed. So, I do the dishes with a smile.
Have it! Find out what each other likes, dislikes, and the heck nos. You must talk about coitus with your spouse. Oh, and have lots of it. You both need it.
Doing Things Together
We are two different people, and we like different things. I love reading, and can spend countless hours at the bookstore. Kevin enjoys fishing. When we go to the bookstore, he looks at magazines about guns or tech stuff. On fishing outings, he baits my hook so I don't have to touch the slimy, wiggly worms. We look for ways to enjoy the other person's hobby.
Love and Respect
Whether I'm talking to the kids or in front of a group of friends, I always talk my husband up. He deserves respect. The more respect I give him, the more he strives to earn my respect.
In return, he isn't afraid to show me love. He gives affection without hesitation. Love and respect go hand and hand. The more respect I show my husband, the more love I am given. It takes two giving their all to make a marriage work.
I could write a book about everything I've learned in marriage. It's beautifully hard, and wonderfully challenging. What would you add to the list?
Still in love,