Measuring Success as a Mom

Success has different faces, different meanings, and different voices to each individual on the planet. As a woman, I had a definition of what success would entail for my life. When motherhood came knocking on my door, the meaning of success drastically changed. There was just one problem. How would I measure success as a mom? How would I know that I was doing a good job? Everyone with a child has their own opinion of whether you are raising your child correctly, but I needed to decided for myself.

There are some mornings when I seem unstoppable, and then some days where I don't get dressed until lunch time. When Javen was a little baby he had severe acid reflux and many days I would have to change clothes three or more times a day. Those days were spent cleaning up a baby and not much else. Now that I have three children, my life seems hectic but in different ways.

I catch myself apologizing to my husband for not folding the laundry or cleaning the kitchen everyday. One day he told me that he is not my master and doesn't expect me to get everything done.

What?!?

I didn't have to mark anything off his mental checklist? He went on to tell me that my job is caring for the children and the house and that every day is unpredictable. The children are the main priority and I am putting unrealistic demands on myself.

Again, what?!?

I am the one torturing myself everyday. I am the one that looks at Pinterest and demands that crafts be made, the one that requires a sparkling house, and the one that has to bring in extra income. It's impossible to be everything to everyone at the same time. I know this, but somehow it sounded like something that only applied to parents who work outside the home. This all important truth still has to be repeated multiple times every week. 

Playing with my children, feeding my children, teaching them to be respectable citizens, teaching them about Christ, and keeping them clean are the main priorities. The house is my second job. I constantly remind myself to go play trains with Pierce when he asks, to take the time to tickle Alayna a little longer, and to discuss another football game with Javen. My children are my success. 

So how do I measure success during the day to day grind of motherhood? There are life long goals, monthly goals, and daily goals. Everyone has to decide the overall goal of success that comes when your child leaves the nest. As for the monthly goals, I try to include making memories at a part of the plan. The daily goals vary, but they include playing with my children.

What defines success for you as a parent? Do you stress over motherly success and whether it will measure up to society, your upbringing, or your expectations. I'm still a work in progress, and my next goal is to write down the things that I view as daily, monthly, and life long successes. Writing goals down always helps put them in perspective. What are your thoughts?

On the parenting roller coaster,

Amanda